Sabrina the…Remake.

I just posted something the other day about Audrey Hepburn and I think i was struck so hard because I hadn’t seen Sabrina in such a long time and the newer one has been on HBO. I also hadn’t watched it in quite a long while, but when that other movie showed up – How to Steal a Million – and reminded me about Hepburn, I got inspired to sit with the remake for a time.

As much as I enjoy Harrison Ford movies, Julia Ormond is supposed to be so beautiful and full of life that both brothers fall for her. Ormond, talented and beautiful as she is, really doesn’t hold a candle to Hep. That’s one thing. The other thing I realized about the movie (both of them) is that Sabrina Fairchild is a HUGE snob. Which is ironic because that’s what she’s supposed to deflate in all the other high-society people she comes home to. Over and over, she says things like, “In Paris, I found myself”, “In Paris, you eat with your hands”, “In Paris, you wander to to your favorite place along the river and…”  Blah Blah Blah.

“Guess what sweetheart,” I wish Harrison Ford would finally say, “You’re not in Paris. So stop bringing it up and acting like a spoiled brat who’s seen too much of the world.”

The reality is if she really was well traveled and worldly, she would exude that instead of needing to remind everyone that’s where she spent the past few years. Seriously, STOP BRINGING IT UP. It’s truly annoying and if it’s so great there, why did you come back at all? Was it just to marry into money? Because you basically start swooning over the one brother, then switch to the other when he takes you on a couple dates. And you’re so worldly and experienced that you don’t see any of the scamming from brother #2 coming. Meanwhile, brother #1 missed you so much, he had no idea who you were and had no memory of you when you were younger, short of that the family driver had a daughter.

It’s all kind of sad. If not for great performances in both movies – Bogart and Hepburn in the original and Ford and pretty much every side character in the remake – I’m not convinced they wouldn’t be looked on as the story of a social climber and the rich, jerkoff brothers who only want what they can’t have.

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