Is this the year I finally put the pieces together? I have the time, the resume, and the ability. But that is pretty much where I was last year at this time. Like last year, I’m also staying involved; This time as the Assistant Production Manager for The Open Fist Theatre Company’s remounting of James Joyce’s The Dead.

We open in a couple weeks. It’s upon us. And when that happens, I should immediately be in the market for new representation. That is the single most important thing I can possibly do if I plan to keep on acting for a living.

The truth is staring me down and it’s become a situation where I need to ignore all the truth-tellers out there and have some irrational confidence in myself. I’m officially not a kid anymore. I was able to put that realization off for a good long while but the time has come for me to get real. How long can I expect to be on the fringe of this thing? I’ve been a “professional” actor for such a long time that I don’t feel I have an identity without it. At the same time, though I do try to work for free less than I have in the past, the prospect of “starting over”…again… makes me weary.

Friends are having success, starting families, buying houses and seeing their businesses gain a real foothold. Another close friend just told me he’s going out on his own instead of continuing to work for a company. I’m so proud of him. And more than a little envious.

Envious of what though? The struggle to make ends meet? Creating awareness of a small business in a saturated market? What? Envy suggests I don’t wish my friends well in their ventures and that couldn’t be further from the truth. I simply want my business to succeed.

So let’s do this thing. Get up in the morning. Exercise. Treat people well. Eat right. Focus. And maybe I’ll have some great things to report. Happy New Year.